SHARING IS HEALINGANGI  A few people have asked me if I'm afraid of being "too open" about my alcoholism.My short answer to the question is:  No.  Not one bit.I can't speak for everyone who has ever struggled with an addiction, but I can speak for myself and I think it's important for me to do so.   Not every one's story is the same.  As much as some might think, there isn't a cookie cutter mold that one has to fit in order to be categorized with having a problem.     I wasn't the stereotypical drunk.  I didn't drink every day, or every other day.  I didn't wake up every morning, my body shaking with withdrawals that only a shot of booze could fix.  At least not on a regular basis.  I held down a job, I spent time with my kids, I did things that any normal person did and for the most part, I was able to have relationships that weren't toxic.I took several questionnaires online to determine whether or not I even had a problem.  In hind site, (I know now that if one takes one of those questionnaire's in the first place, they more than likely have a problem.)
I hope by putting my story out there for all to read, I might inspire someone else to make some changes in their own life if they feel the need.  I know not everyone will be able to relate to my story, but some will and that alone is reason for me to keep doing what I'm doing.
I do worry about how being open about my story effects the other people in my life.  I don't want my kids to feel bad if people know their mother is an alcoholic.  I don't want Steve (husband) to feel he needs to explain my life and my choices, nor do I want him to feel like this is a reflection of him, because it isn't.   I was an alcoholic before I was a mother, or a wife.  I have an extensive family history of alcoholics and it was just a matter of time before it effected me too.  So please, if you're going to judge, judge me and not my family.  Nobody forced me to start drinking and nobody is forcing me to stop, it's always been my choice.Telling my story this way is my way of dealing with my struggle.  It inspires me to keep going and not to give up on myself.  I'm worth it.